"C'mon, Mario!"encouraged Toad.
"Just one more sit-up and this juicy Crisco Melt Spaghetti Sandwich is all yours" Luigi added.
"UGGGHHHH, GRARRR..."
"You can do it, Mario."said Princess Toadstool.
"Mario!  Mario!  Mario!  Mario!  Mario!" the three of them chanted as Mario struggled to finish his obviously brutal workout.
"F-F-F-F-FIVE!!!!!!!"  yelled Mario as he collapsed onto his back.
This was too hilarious.  Five sit-ups?  I nearly fell off my ladder where I'd been spying on the Marios, trying to control my laughter.   But back to business.
"Congratulations, Mario.  You certainly deserve this." Toadstool remarked, handing the pasta sandwich down to the pipe-brained numbskull.
"I tell ya.if it weren't for you guys' encouragement, I'd nevre be able to keep my boyish bloat." *grumpf chew *
That's it, Cheatsy!  It occurred to me in an instant. What better way is there to get rid of Mario than by using his own essence against him.the fat itself!!!!
I hurriedly sped down the ladder and headed back to Darkland.
"You've got to be kidding me, Cheatsy"  laughed Kooky.  "I'm up to my shell in evil plans as it is.  And moreover, they're MY plans!  You'd leave the genius ideas to the family genius, if you knew what's good for you."
"But Kooky," I protested, "you're the only smart enough to help me devise a potion to turn Mario's fat to the Koopas' side."
"Hahahahaha.I love hearing it" he said.  "But seriously, GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!"
"Suit yourself, Kooky.  When Dad finds out about my stunning victory, you'll be eating those words.  And that's about all there is to eat down in the dungeon where you'll get tossed," I replied, heading off towards another part of the castle. 
This would be fun.
"Oh, Kamek-ipoo." I began, stepping into the Magikoopa's lab. 
"AAAH!!" he yelled, dropping a vial of yellow liquid into a pot of boiling liquid, causing a green explosion to knock him to the floor.
"What do you want, you little upstart?  You can see that I'm terribly busy. Do I have to call your father to remove you?" Kamek angrily blurted, brushing himself off.
"No trouble, Kamek.well, not for me anyway.  I was just wondering if you could explain for me these photos that I just had developed.  Because I know you wouldn't ever take King Dad's prized Ovaltine materialiser without permission. And of course you wouldn't have anything to do with its current absence from the Royal Kitchen.
"Oh no.I'll do anything you want, just don't let him know it was me.  I'm trying to fix it, I swear.  What do you think I was working on, just as you stepped in?  Please, Cheatsy, my dear boy, those photos needn't get out of hand."
This is too easy.  I'll have the Marios by sundown tomorrow at this rate!  
I dropped a note on his table with the instructions for my evil fat potion.
"Get it to me in an hour, or else King Dad'll have your polished shell on display." I warned, leaving the room.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour and a half later, I was headed back to Toad's house with Hip and Hop, my diversionary team, and a small vial of potion.  We spotted them from behind a bush a short distance away,  The mindless Marios and company were sitting outside on lawnchairs, watching the grass grow.  I gave them the signal.  Hip stepped into view first, carrying a pair of glasses.  A few seconds later, Hop jumped out from the bush and tackled him. 
"Give'em back, Hip.  I can't see a thing!"
Hip shoved him off and pretended to back away "Give me back my matches or the glasses get it!"  he laughed.
"That's it! Say goodbye to your only precious nose!" yelled Hop, who threw a literal punch in the dark at his twin brother.
"Ow, my arm!  You're goin' down, blindie!"
As Hip and Hop began "fighting," the Mario gang got their lazy butts off the ground and circled around my brothers as planned.  I crept up behind Mario, and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Huh, what--!" he shrieked as I dumped the contents of the vial onto his huge gut.
"Ha-ha.too bad for you, Mario" I said as he began to glow a yellow color.
"Mama-mia, what's happenin' to me?? Whoa!"
Next thing you know, Mario stopped glowing and began to speak in a low, gurgly, stereotypical fat voice.
"I AM THE FAAATTT" Mario declared.  "WHAT DOST MY KOOPA MASTER COMMAND?"
Hip tossed Hop his glasses, and they both stood up to watch the fulfillment of my brilliant evil plan.
"Mario fat, I command you to destroy Mario"  I ordered, giggling slightly at how silly that sounded.
Suddenly, Mario's stomach threw Mario onto the ground and a fat-arm-pseudopod thing came out and started strangling him.  Woohoo!!
"NOOO!!!!"shrieked Luigi, Toad and the Princess in unison.
"Give it up, you fools!" I yelled.  "There's no stopping Mario's corrupt carb-belly now!!  Watch in horror!!!  Heh."
Sure enough, Mario's huge evil gut had a killer choke hold on him, and he was powerless to stop it.
"DIE, MARIO" Mario boomed in his evil fat voice.
"Stop!  NOOO!!!" cried the Princess.
"Silence, meddlesome cretin!" hissed Mario's gut as it gave Mario a fierce wedgie.
"You can't do this to him.  Don't you remember all the good times?  All the mayonaisse and the love Mario had for you?" pleaded Toadstool.
"You seek to befuddle me with words!!!!  ARRGH!!!!!"
"Please!!  Mario would do anything for you, you're like a son to him.  This sneaky Koopa isn't your master, he's controlling you to hurt the ones that love you the most.  Just remember the good times, fat.the good times!!" the Princess contintinued as the fat drug Mario to the edge of a huge cliff and poised him just at the edge.
"No, you lie!!!  Grrr..pasta..the fat becomes hungry!!!
"There's pizza in it for you.let's just.go eat," offered Mario.
"You and I.  We have much in common.  I see now that I can be no enemy of Mario," conceded the stupid fat.  It was a dumb idea anyway.
There was a *poof * of smoke and Mario was back to his normal slobby self, and the four "heroes" headed off into the sunset, leaving me alone with the prospect of getting sent to the dungeon for screwing up yet again and also the knowledge of exactly just how unfair life is.  I hate those plumbers.

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