The Koopalings Do Something
(Iin King Koopa’s Royal Bedroom of Evil Sleep. Cheatsy and Hop are standing over King Koopa, who is asleep in his bed and snoring loudly.)
Cheatsy: No, I can’t believe this. All this time…it was HIM snoring that was causing those tremors?
Hop: I guess so... It woke me up on the other side of the castle. I came running as soon as I was thrown violently out of my bed. I just assumed that Kooky did something horrible and I thought I’d get to see some neat explosions.
(just then Koopa’s snoring causes a large chunk of the ceiling to fall down between the two of them. Cracks start running along the stone floor away from Koopa, and the earth opens up in many places. The ground is rumbling, things are falling everywhere, and it’s all his fault.)
Cheatsy and Hop: AAAAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-meanwhile, at Toad’s House-
(Toad, Mario, Luigi and the Princess are sitting around Toad’s kitchen table. Mario is cramming pasta down his gullet like nobody’s business.)
Mario: I just love pasta! I could eat it all day. In fact, I have been eating it all day. Boy, I sure am fat! Mmm….is that a jar of lard, Princess? Here all this time I’ve just been using mayonnaise on my pasta? (pours lard all over his HUGE bowl of pasta and continues stuffing his face)
Princess: So, Mario, you’ll nevre believe what happened today at the charity auction I held in Skyland for those poor homeless mushrooms.
Mario: *munch munch chew slurp bloog crunch* What’s that?
Toad: Everything was going so well… People were bidding on some of the most worthless garbage. It’s a good thing us mushrooms are frivolous spenders, or we would nevre have raised enough money to buy soap for the dirty homeless. Next thing we knew…Blam! Pow! The whole place exploded. We barely got out with our lives.
Mario: No kidding…
Princess: Blah blah blah blah…(etc.)
(suddenly the ground starts shaking and the kitchen table is swallowed up by a gigantic, gaping maw of a hole in the ground)
Mario: My pasta!!!!
(looking out the window, they notice that outside Toad’s house, the entire Mushroom Kingdom seems to be shaking up)
Princess: I’ll bet Koopa’s up to this!
Luigi: Let’s go find out.
Everyone: Yay!!!!
-back at Castle Koopa-
Hop: We gotta wake him up, before there’s not enough salvageable chunks of the Mushroom Kingodm left to Koopa Konquer!!
Cheatsy: You’re right… KOOOTIEE PIIEEE!!!!!!!
(Kootie Pie shows up next to them two seconds later)
Kootie: Daddy?……… WAAKE UP!!!! Wake up, now! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE RESTED ENOUGH BY TOMORROW MORNING TO PICK OUT A PERFECT OUTFIT WITH THAT LOUD SNOOZING OF YOURS???? WELL?? It’s LATE already, and if I don’t get back to bed in the next three minutes, I will be SO CRANKY TOMORROW…
(she screeches in rage and hits him over the head with a pillow. Hop dumps a bucket of water on him while Cheatsy jumps on his belly.)
(just then Bully Koopa sneaks into the room and changes the channel on the television from the old Real World Mafia movie that Koopa had been watching to the A-Team.
Bully: (watching the screen with a big smile.) Heh heh, I like Deckre.
(Koopa’s yellow eyes open wide as he suddenly jumps out of bed and snatches the remote from Bully in one quick movement.)
Koopa: Bully! Just what do you think you’re doing with my evil Real World mind control device?? You worthless little scale-brain upstart, can’t you see I was watching a movie???
(Cheatsy, Hop and Kootie’s jaws drop when they see him up)
Bully: But King Dad, you’ve got the only TV that doesn’t just have the Big Mouth Network. It’s not fair, you hog it! I wanna see Deckre, and if I can’t, I’m gonna pound these little twerps to Koopdom Kome!
Koopa: Suits me fine, just make sure you do it once you’re OUTTA MY ROOM!!! Now scram, all of you, before I brain you!!!
(they all run out in a flash, not wanting to be brained by King Dad)
(once outside the room, Kootie Pie shoves the other three koopalings, knocking them each over)
Kootie: Ack! Don’t look at me without my makeup on! I’m going back to bed. (she leaves)
Bully: (slamming his fist into his other hand with a mean grin on his face) Nyeh-heh…Heh.
(just then Raccoon Mario and Luigi burst through the window nearest the Koopalings)
Mario and Luigi: MOO!!!! CHARGE!!!!!!!
(they stop their attack abruptly)
Luigi: Hey, Mario, what do you know…the earthquake stopped.
Mario: You’re right, Luigi. It seems that just us being here in Koopa’s castle was enough to thwart his evil plans somehow. (he leans over the window to yell down to the Princess and Toad, who were waiting outside the castle with a load of fireballs) Hey, you guys! The show’s over. We’ve already beat Koopa’s insidious Koopa-kaper. Call the press, and we’ll be ready for our honorary parade in about an hour. Boy am I hungry.
Cheatsy: Just where do you think you’re going, you pathetic problem-pickin’ plumbres of poor penmanship? You can’t just barge into OUR King Dad’s evil fortress of doom without incurring our wrath!!
(Mario farts loudly, emitting a poisonous brown gas that stuns the Koopalings)
Mario: Argh…Yeah, whatevre. Luigi, let’s go get some spaghetti.
(they hop out the window, leaving only a few puddles of drool where Mario had been standing)
Cheatsy, Hop and Bully: I HATE THOSE PLUMBRES!!!!!!
