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By Chef Torte
(The TORTE)
Prologue: Facing the Evil Within...
Lightning flashed, thunder roared, and Chef Torte was frantically preparing his ultimate dish. Though the storm outside was severe, the Mushroom Kingdom Cook-Off continued. Chef Torte, Tayce T, and Chef Spore were the contestants. The first three rounds had already commenced. Round one was crafting a fine meal, which Chef Spore had won. Round two was who could come up with the best dish with limited ingredients, which Tayce T won. The third round was who could make the best dessert. Chef Torte won the contest with the utmost of ease. Now the tie breaking round was occurring. Make the most delicious dish was the contest, and Chef Torte knew he would win if he didn’t add too much yeast to make his cake move. And besides, the judges, Yoshi, Gourmet Guy, and a weird pink alien that didn’t speak were the judges, and in round three they gobbled up Torte’s fruit pie.
Tayce T was using her best culinary skills to create her masterpiece, Bigga
Blurp a la Yuum. She had a Great White Blurp for her main dish and was currently
seasoning it before cooking. She noticed that the judges were eyeing Torte’s
cake. Tayce T knew she had to do something if she wanted to win. She set the
Blurp to cook, and started scheming.
Chef Spore was boiling his veggie soup. He noticed that he was in trouble.
The other two cook’s would definitely win with him making just a side
dish.
“Okay! Our chefs have only five minutes left!” Crazykoopa, the host, said.
“Mon dieu! Vat to do? Vat to do!” Chef Torte panicked. “Maybe I should add more yeast? NO! Zat vill make za cake move! Oh! I know! I’ll go get za icing!”
Seeing Chef Torte go into the kitchen, Tayce T went over to his work station,
when the cameras were turned. She packed his cake chock full of yeast and
other crap. Sensing Torte would return soon, Tayce T returned to finish her
Blurp.
Chef Torte iced the cake and it looked beautiful. Soon Crazykoopa blew the
whistle and now the judges decided who was to be named, Mushroom Kingdom’s
Finest! First up was Chef Spore. Out of the three, the pink alien enjoyed
it the most, but the others definitley liked it too. Torte got nervous. Tayce
T’s Blurp was next. Delighted all three judges. Then Chef Torte brought
in his cake, which the judges drooled at. Right as Gourmet Guy went for a
piece, then cake... moved. It bopped Gourmet Guy in the face for trying to
eat him.
“YUCK! THAT’S UTTERLY HORRIFYING! I’M NOT EATING AN ALIVE CAKE!” Gourmet Guy yelled.
“VAT?!?” Chef Torte panicked.
“Tayce T wins!! Tayce T, you are the, Mushroom Kingdom’s Finest Chef!!!!!!!!!” Gourmet Guy announced. “And Chef Spore, you are the Alternate Mushroom Kingdom’s Finest!!! As for you Chef Torte. You can go back to cooking school!”
Everyone began laughing and pointing and mocking Chef Torte. “Do not
mock my accent! How utteirly rude!”
They persisted until Torte spazzed out and ran out of the studio yelling his
shell off.
When he ran out of breath, Chef Torte was far away from the studio, the town,
from anywhere remotely familiar. He breathed deeply and looked angered. He
clenched his fists and jumped to the ground, punching with his fists. He roared
in hatred. He continued until he was tired. He looked at the darkness in front
of him, behind him, all around him. All was quiet now except for Chef Torte’s
breathing. Until finally that stopped, as the darkness closed in...
The Good, The Bad, & The Torte
By Chef Torte
(The BAD)