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Mario, known video game character and saver of Princess Peach, has recently been found in a New York hotel, surrounded by evidence linking him to the famous "Blanca" slavery ring.
"I couldn't believe my eyes at first," said Officer Jenkins, who found Mario on Thursday. "You just don't grow up thinking that you're going to arrest Mario."
Mario was found with three kilograms of cocaine, five sheets of LSD, and twenty more kilograms of hallucinogenic mushrooms. This seemed to be only half of his original supply, the rest having been consumed over the three weeks in which he had stayed at the hotel.
"I didn't think that all of those little glass bottles with powder in them were anything to worry about," said the hotel receptionist, who wished to remain anonymous. "I mean, here I am, Miss Mary Jules, and I just saw a guy with a moustache get a room. Don't forget my anonymity, by the way."
The investigation is still ongoing, but police are confident that they can link Mario to the white slavery ring through his heavy uses of drugs and his signed confession.
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