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Written by Administrator
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Wednesday, 07 July 2004 |
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 As most of you know, Nintendo released it's first online game in November, Mario Kart DS. I'm here to give you the lowdown on Nintendo's first venture into online gaming. Read on!
Don't bother buying MKDS now, unless you have friends who can also play wifi. At this point, there are only four types of people who play online:
[b]Snakers:[/b] These people are cheap assholes. They 'snake,' which is a term for powersliding back and forth on straight parts. They make every race redundant and boring. Avoid people with Anime emblems. They are snakers 99% of the time. Anime sucks to begin with, so there's no reason to race them anyway. They only use Dry Bones in the Dry Bomber or ROB in the Egg1. Not insult those characters, because Dry Bones has a flappy canadian head and ROB eats babies.
[b]Poor Sports:[/b] These are the people who quit when you're winning. They generally use Luigi or Yoshi. They can have anime avatars, but usually have triforces. They're either horrible at the game, or have near perfect win-loss scores, because they're whiney babies and cheat. I hope ROB eats them.
[b]Generic Mario Fans:[/b]These people have crappily made emblems of goombas or koopas. They only use Mario. They suck the whole race and then quit on the second one.
[b]Dry Bones Whores:[/b] They only use Dry Bones in the Dry Bomber, because Nintendo sucks at making balanced characters, especially online. They removed the ability to ram lighter players with the heavy charcters. But as I was saying, they pick Dry Bones because that's the only way they can win, as Dry Bones is very unbalanced online. They always pick Baby Park or Yoshi Circuit.
Not that the wifi was that great to begin with. You can't play battle mode online, and only 20/32 of the courses are avalible. I can understand courses like Tick-Tock Clock being laggy online, but some of the SNES courses? Bullcrap. Plus there are countless router errors if you actually do have friends to play with. And the added fact of no chat feature.
To add to all that, they returned Baby Park from Double Dash. What a waste of course! There's no more "HI I'M DAISY!!!!"...but, Nintendo decided to make Daisy even more annoying. "WAHOOO!!!!! WAHOOO!!! WAHOOO!!!!"
I'm not saying this game is horrible, but it has a lot of flaws. Worth the money if you need a new DS game, but if you want to play against random people...it's not so great. Playing against your friends is awesome...if you can get it to work.
Hopefully Nintendo improves, as this IS their first time with online play. Next time, I'll yell about Animal Crossing. |
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Last Updated ( Friday, 30 June 2006 )
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