The Koopatorivm

I've always felt that it is necessary to report the news to you, no matter how mundane.  With these new editorials (under the unassuming name of "Staff Rants"), I finally can.

It was Christmas 2006.  I had lain awake all night, waiting for Santa Claus (my parents used to tell me that he wouldn't go to our house if I was awake, but I never believed them).  Finally, around two o'clock in the morning, I heard what I had been waiting for my whole life.  Sleigh bells ringing?  Reindeer neighing?  A fat, jolly man ho-ho-hoing?

I rushed downstairs in my pajamas, lighting up the Christmas tree on the way.  Illuminated in the soft glow of the lights was a plate with some half-eaten cookies, a glass of half-drunk milk, and a small, modest box covered in wrapping paper.

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Could there be something fundamentally wrong with the PS3?

Consider, if you will, the following facts:

 1) Of the three newest consoles, both the XBox 360 and Wii have shown rather dramatic defects near release. A few of the 360s were known to overheat to the point of lighting themselves on fire. A few burnt apartments and lawsuits later, a recall was issued, and we learned that these select few systems overheated because they didn't have fans. On the one hand, you'd think that fans would be a rather important part of the picture and somebody would have caught this. On the other hand, if you can play enough time playing Halo 2 to the point where you cause your XBox to melt, there's probably something fundamentally wrong with you.

And then the Wii. It seems that there's a slight problem with the Wii wriststraps- they break at the worst possible times. I would have thought that there would have been some sort of playtesting involved on the straps, but maybe the playtesters committed the grave mistake of reading the instruction manual, which clearly states, "Please do not imitate an epileptic on Las Vegas' Strip at nighttime while holding the controller, you moron".

There's one shoe...

(read more after the jump)